a Marriage Proposal

Madam:

I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Bangalore. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I
decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.
I am a soiled son from inside Karnataka. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with
hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly
also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am fast
baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running.
Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am
jolly. I am gay. Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am
always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on
top. That is how nice I am.

I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not
sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I
am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you
can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym.
I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you.
I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do?
So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am
pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things
into your hand.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day.
In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the gym.
If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me,
I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my
head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I
am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.
Expecting soon,

Yours and only yours
Adam