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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Car lock - do it from the door control!!!



*Car lock - do it from the door control!!! *
* *
* *
*How to Lock Your Car and Why.*
* *
*I locked my car. As I walked away I heard my car door unlock. I went back
and locked my car again three times .. Each time, as soon as I started to
walk away, I would hear it unlock again!! Naturally alarmed, I looked around
and there were two guys sitting in a car in the fire lane next to the store.
They were obviously watching me intently, and there was no doubt they were
somehow involved in this very weird situation. I quickly chucked the errand
I was on, jumped in my car and sped away. I went straight to the police
station, told them what had happened, and found out I was part of a new, and
very successful, scheme being used to gain entry into cars. Two weeks later,
my friend's son had a similar happening.... *
* *
*While traveling, my friend's son stopped at a roadside rest to use the
bathroom. When he came out to his car less than 4-5 minutes later, someone
had gotten into his car and stolen his cell phone, laptop computer, GPS
navigator, briefcase......you name it. He called the police and since there
were no signs of his car being broken into, the police told him he had been
a victim of the latest robbery tactic -- there is a device that robbers are
using now to clone your security code when you lock your doors on your car
using your key-chain locking device.. *
* *
*They sit a distance away and watch for their next victim.  They know you
are going inside of the store, restaurant, or bathroom and that they now
have a few minutes to steal and run. The police officer said to manually
lock your car door-by hitting the lock button inside the car -- that way if
there is someone sitting in a parking lot watching for their next victim, it
will not be you. *
* *
*When you hit the lock button on your car upon exiting, it does not send the
security code, but if you walk away and use the door lock on your key chain,
it sends the code through the airwaves where it can be instantly stolen.
This is very real. *
* *
*Be wisely aware of what you just read and please pass this note on. Look
how many times we all lock our doors with our remote just to be  sure we
remembered to lock them -- and bingo, someone has our code...and whatever
was in our car. *
* *
*Please share with everyone you know!!  *


*Note:  The receiving device is known as a "Spectrum Analyzer" and the
signal can be recorded and played back to unlock the car door.  True!*

Friday, August 26, 2011

secret of Good Corn





There was a farmer who grew superior quality, award-winning corn in his farm. Each year, he entered his corn in the state fair where it won honours and prizes.

One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew his corn. The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbours.

"How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbours when they are entering corn in the competition with yours each year?" The reporter asked. "Why brother?"

The farmer replied, "Didn't you know? The wind picks up pollen grains from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbours grow inferior, sub-standard and poor quality corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I have to grow good corn, I must help my neighbours to grow good corns too."

The farmer gave a superb insight into the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbours' corn also improves. So it is in the other dimensions and areas of life!

Those who choose to be in harmony must help their neighbours and colleagues to be at peace. Those who choose to live well must help others live well too. The value of a life is measured by the lives it touches...

Success does not happen in isolation; it is most often a participatory and collective process. So share the good practices, ideas and new knowledge with your family, friends, team members and neighbours and all.

"Success breeds Success."



Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Real Friends



REAL FRIEND TEST!

This is GOOD...I expect it back too!
I especially like the last sentence!!!! !!

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your
'Pepsi/7 up/any other drinks drawer' with his foot!



A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears..



A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book..




A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.



A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.



A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it!


A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when
you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.



A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!



A simple friend reads this post and forgets.
A real friend shares it on to his/her friends



Pass this on to anyone you care about......if you
get it back you have no beginning, no end.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Wives r wives





Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either ur 

money or life... The wives want both!


====

Marriage is like a public toilet Those waiting outside are desperate to 
get in & Those inside are desperate to come out.

====

No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied
with 4 things in life.
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because there is always a better model in neighborhood.

===

Searching these keywords on Google `How to tackle wife?`
Google search result, `Good day sir, Even we are searching`.

===

Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right. It 
only means that the safety of your head is much more important than 
your ego!

===

Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house 
for 5 years.Osama Bin Laden must have called the US Navy Seals himself!

===

Whisky is a brilliant invention. One double and you start feeling 
single again.

===

A friend recently explained why he refuses to get to married.
He says the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs.

===


It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers to protect 
a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home --------- A Good 
Maid!

===

Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils
but my wife is the queen
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of them  :)


Friday, August 19, 2011

Reason, Season, Lifetime



  People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that
Person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need
You have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with
Guidance and support,

To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an
End.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
Fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.


Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has
Come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy..

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

 

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,

Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
Foundation..

Your job is to accept the lesson,

Love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other
Relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

 

Thank you for being a part of my life,

Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

 



--

The Biggest, Meanest Machine in the World


One of the Great Man Made Marvelous

--

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Amazing photoshop work

Wrong Side of the Bed



As she passed the young novices, Mother Superior said, "Good morning, ladies,"


and the novices replied, "Good morning, Mother Superior. May God be with you."
But once they were past, she heard one novice say to another, "She got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

Mother Superior was surprised, but decided not to pursue it.

Soon she passed two sisters who had taught there for years. They exchanged pleasantries, but again she heard them whisper, "She got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

She wondered if she had been harsh with them and vowed to be more pleasant.

Down the hall came retired Sister Mary. They exchanged greetings but Sister Mary added right to her face, "Looks like you got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

Mother Superior was floored. "Sister Mary, what  have I done wrong? 

Three times this morning someone has said that about me!"

Sister Mary looked Mother Superior in the eye. "Oh dear, don't take it personally. 

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It's just that you're wearing Father Murphy's slippers!"


Its really HOT.....







 

 

 

Careful. It's really HOT!!!











 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Monday, August 8, 2011

Best divorce letter




Dear hubby:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.. I've
been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your
games. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything
that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Wife
P.S. don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
------------------------------



Husband's Reply












Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my games so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk dress: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I
hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets
to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason,
I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as
Carla(woman).........I hope that's not a problem......