y i respect WOMEN

i dont wanna go to school......

One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.

MOM: "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."

SON: "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."

MOM: "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."

SON: "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."

MOM: "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."

SON: "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?"

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MOM: "One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of
the school

it happens only in INDIA

U AND ME

I lay here..
And I think of you.
I hear your laughter.
And your sighs.
I close my eyes,
Feel your touch.

You are always here.

Outside my window..
I hear the rainfall,
As a hundred songs
Play through my mind..
Their words so much clearer,
Than ever before.
Because you make everything
Easier to see...better to feel.

And
I know,
You are everything
Love is supposed to be.
And what we share,
Words alone,
Could never explain.
The feelings we have,
Comfort we find in one another.
How our souls meet,
As if we've always been.

And I am so grateful
For you, your heart.
The way you captivate my mind.
How you make me smile.
How you love me.

So easily,
I disappear into you.
Everything else fades away,
When it is you and me.

A special kind of love
To never end,
To never be forgotten.

Forever,
You and me.
SACHIN

TWO GHOSTS TALKING TO EACH OTHER.......HA HA

Two ghosts met and both chat about how they died.

1st ghost : How u died?
2nd ghost : I died of cold.

1st ghost : How does it feel when you're dying in cold?
2nd ghost : Actually, I was accidentally locked in the refrigerator.



Initially, I was shivering, then my whole body started to freeze, later I felt the whole world was dark and I died suffocating.

1st ghost : Wow what a horrible way to die....
2nd ghost : How about you? How u die?

1st ghost : I died from heart attack.
2nd ghost : I see, why did u have a heart attack?

1st ghost : Actually, I found out that my wife is having an affair with another man.

One day, when I came back from work, saw a pair of man shoes outside my house. Then, I realized that the guy was in my house with my wife. When I rushed into the bedroom, my wife was alone.

I must find where that bastard is hiding. So I searched the toilet, I ran downstairs, looked in the storeroom, but the bastard was not there. So, I ran upstairs and searched the wardrobe, but I found nothing.

Because of all that running,I got a heart attack and died.

2nd ghost : Why you never look for the bastard in the fridge? The bastard was hiding there. We both might be alive now!!


[:)]

JOKE GUD ONE...........(18+)

A married businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the
night with her for $500. He spends the night with her but before he
leaves, he tells her that he does not have any cash with him, but he
will have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the
payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT".
On the way to the office he regrets what he has done, realizing that the
whole event was not worth the price.
So he has his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following
typed note:

Dear Madam:
Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your
apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I
rented the apartment, I was under the impression that;
1) it had never been occupied;
2) that there was plenty of heat; and
3) that it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.

However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there
wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.


Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for
$250 with the following note:

Dear Sir,
First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment
to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of
it, if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is
indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill
it, please don't blame the landlady.

Send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present
landlady to recover the dues.

SWISS MINI GUN

LOL.....cool

WOMEN = PROBLEMS